HERMITOLOGY©

Doos Hip-hop

“DJ hah tick owns a PC compyoodah, k? ee makes lahk nex levull beets.”

“Basic lee ahv got sum seerius gayngstah skull on tha mock.”

13-year-old, David Sills Commits To Play Football At USC

“Steve Clarkson, Dreammaker” made me shoot coffee out of my nose.

“No, no, David Prancing Wolf. You must throw a tight spiral through the dreamcatcher or Mel Kiper Jr. will move you down his 2019 draft board.”

This is the rivaling the Marv and Todd Marinovich saga for “Pushiest Parent Ever”. That turned out well, didn’t it?

“I’m just trying to give him every opportunity that I can,” Sills’ father said. “There are people who support the decision and people who don’t support the decision and I’m just hoping that I’m making the best decision for my child and I hope he’s making the right decision for himself.”

Yes, because clearly the best decision is to commit to a college (that is probably a few months away from the NCAA cracking down on them for multiple recruiting violations) FIVE YEARS before you are eligible to play for them. At 13, you’re just realizing that your penis isn’t a leaky, oddly-placed 11th finger, and starting to get curious about thinking and acting for yourself, and that there are other things in life besides what your parents allow you to do.

This’ll end well. o__O

bok bok bok bok

YOU GOTS TWO DOLLAS BILL?

NO NO NO.

(via J.E. Skeets)

A 60-foot jumper with seven seconds on the clock?

That’s not how you do it.

(via WithLeather)

DOUCHECHILLS.